Two Guys in North Hollywood.

The last post was supposed to be about the following story but I never plan these things. I start writing and I just waffle on till I finish then I copy and paste; so this is what I meant to write last time:

When I was in Los Angeles my agent called and told me that someone wanted to see me about doing a play called The Homecoming by Harold Pinter; now I love Harold Pinter's plays as the dialogue is so real even though it looks unusual on the page and people don't always know what the play is about as most of it is in the subtext. 

For instance there is such a thing as a Pinter Pause although you might not see it in a dictionary. Let me look and see.

Well it isn't in a dictionary but it's on Google - The Pinter Pause. Pauses run through all of Pinter’s work – and they occur in The Homecoming a whopping 224 times. The “Pinter pause” is typically found partway through a line of speech. It’s not a prolonged or pregnant pause of the kind that’s often used to draw attention to a particular moment.

Well there it is and it mentions the very play I am talking about. I did The Caretaker many many years ago by Harold Pinter. The dialogue was so cleverly written that after more than 50 years I can still remember some of it - “There's a café just along the road; I used to go there quite a bit. Oh years ago now but I stopped. That's was before I went away just before . . .”

There we are and I didn't cheat.

The play was going on at the Lee Strasbourg Institute in West Hollywood and I had to go and meet a couple of guys in North Hollywood – the valley.

I had been up for a few roles where my agent was told I was a nice guy – charming, easy to work with – all of that but the role I was going for was a nasty piece of work and the character was eighty years of age. I wasn't going to wear 80 year old make up or anything like that, but they (the agents) wanted me to turn off the charm.

The character was Max and he really was nasty. It was played by Paul Rogers who won a Tony Award for it when he played it on Broadway when he was about 50 years of age – so I wasn't intimidated by that when I went along to see the The Two Guys in North Hollywood.

I had in mind that I was a nasty piece of work which meant I didn't want to flirt with them or try and impress them; I'd be good mannered, pass the time of day but be serious; I wouldn't frighten anybody with my smile. I remembered once I went for the role of the father in the Oxo commercials in the UK and the day after I left the casting session I got a call from them; a callback. So I went in to work that day – I was doing something for the BBC called Goodbye Darling with a very selective cast Renee Asherson, Faith Brook and TP McKenna to name but three (which I just got from the IMDb) and I told the pal I had at the time, Tom Georgeson, that I had a callback and he said 'no way – you're not a dad' and I said I've got three kids at home' 'you may have' he said ' but you're not a DAD; you're just not.'

I understood what he meant, I just wasn't the type. A bit later on that day my agent called and said 'they changed their mind' 'why?' I said

'it's your eyes!”

'what???? my eyes?'

'you have the eyes of a killer. If you don't smile there's a look of a killer in your eyes.'

I told Tom – 'told you' he said.

But they were right – I did a small movie once 'The Swimming Pool' in Bournemouth (which seems to have disappeared without a trace) and I didn't blink throughout the whole movie – yes I looked like a killer.

So I was bearing this in mind when I was heading over to meet the Two Guys in North Hollywood.

This was in the days when I had just started to carry a cell phone but I never used it; it was stuck in my pocket. After I parked I found my way to the place where I was headed, all Raymond Chandler and bright Pulp Fiction sunshine and shadows and then it started to rain – not pour just a flicker and when I got to the place there was a note on the door 'please call 555 1212 (good number that 555; used in every movie, the 555 bit, up to fairly recently – yes every movie). I didn't want to be doing that. 

I didn't know how much a call would cost and my phone could only stay in my pocket free till I used it as that meant I had accepted the terms. I looked around; this was some way from the city of North Hollywood closer to the valley and I could not see a payphone.

It rained a little heavier so I made the call 'hi' – 'you have no door bell?' I said 'who's this' the voice said 'who's this!!!' 'are you the three-o-clock?' he said 'no I said I'm the actor.'

They buzzed the buzzer which buzzed me up.

The two guys were in the living room – one was the lead actor (playing Lennie, I suppose) and the other was a lot older; the director.

'what was all that about?' I said 'it's raining out there.'

'take a seat.' so I did.

I looked at the pair of them (killer eyes; don't forget killer eyes.)

Small talk but no smile, no pleasantries, one word answers nothing more.

We read the whole play – the guy playing Lenny was quite good, had an acceptable British accent. Never English accent, by the way, they always say British.

I have to say – I read it really well; so did the other guy. There was a lot of tension on the air. He read the other roles too. I hadn't read it before but I was a good sight reader and I played it cool. Not much humour and when we finished it was 'Whew!! Wow. That was good man.'

Now was the time to let go, be nice, maybe smile – but I couldn't.

Mister nasty just sat over there on the sofa.

They felt awkward; I could tell.

'If I offer you the role of the younger guy' said the director – 'how would that be? I mean this guy is eighty if he's a day.'

'Paul Rogers played this on Broadway at fifty.' I said.

'yes well we can't take those chances.'

I tried to be pleasant but it didn't come. I remember doing a play on the stage where a tear came into my eye at the end of a scene and when I went off, the tear was still there; I had to take a few breaths and long one out to come to my senses.

It was the same with those two guys.

The director did call a week later 'that was an outstanding reading' he said 'but we just can't use you.'

'Keep in touch' I said.

And hung up.