Red Dawn.

It's a funny old world isn't it? Art copies life and life copies art.

A few years ago I did some work in the movie remake of Red Dawn; in the original movie the Russians invade a small town in the USA and some school kids get together, get some weapons and fight them off saving the town and the good old USA from the evil Ruskies. It was a piece of jingoism and, even though it was made by a talented writer/director it was a load of rubbish.

In the new version they changed the nationality of the enemy to the Chinese and at the start of the film, around the time of the titles, there is a film montage with footage of world leaders, including Barack Obama, getting on and off aeroplanes, giving press conferences and the like, and the section has the quality of a newsreel. I was the voice of a British reporter and there were other voices from various countries too.

I often wondered what had happened to the film and if it would ever get a release then some time ago the producers decided they didn't want to offend the Chinese, as they were doing deals with them, so they changed the enemy to North Korea.

It opened in the USA last year and last month it opened in Britain. What's that? You missed it? Oh dear! 

All the dialogue that mentioned the Chinese was taken out and the words Korea or Pyongyang replaced China and Beijing. 

Now I had to look up Pyongyang as I presume you might have had to do, if only for the spelling, but it seems strange to me that a country we know so little about is threatening to blow America out of the water for no good reason.

There is a mad man in charge of the place called (and here I go again looking it up) KIM Jong Um; he is the chief of state. There are other people in charge too for example CHOE Yong Rim who is the head of government and then there are vice premiers.

Who these people are and what they do is beyond me and why the first name that is written down is in block capitals and what you would call them if you met them in a bar is beyond me and also beyond me is why they want to blow up the world!

KIM Jong Um is the son of KIM Jong-il who was also mad at the world.

Recently the famous basketball player Dennis Rodman was seen with Kim Jong Um at some kind of sporting fixture.

Dennis Rodman, as you can see above, is a very sensible fella much the same as David Beckham who is a good role model for the kids of today but what he was doing with such a monster is also beyond me.

But what can we do in this kind of situation apart from moan?

They have weapons and soldiers, tanks and fighter planes – even nuclear weapons (WMD? - that's where they were) ready to destroy everything we know and what can we do?

Already Dave the Rave is on his way to Scotland to check that Trident is still there and he will be wondering what to do with it if Scotland ever leave the union with the rest of Britain. What will it be called then? The Ununited Kingdom? Nearly Greater Britain?

 Trident.

Britain's deterrent WMD.