Hair Cut Sir?

 

I had to go into the west end on Friday to get a hair cut. I used to go to Pall Mall Barbers, in Trafalgar Square, but since the pandemonium (that's what we're calling it in this post) my Italian barber has moved to the Fitzrovia shop; still Pall Mall Barbers, but another branch . A bit of a difference from the Trafalgar one as it has about three chairs and a big window. The other shop has been on television more than Hugh Edwards and it is surprising. The shop is very small, with four chairs on the ground floor and a further two on lower ground.

At one time I would save my receipt from the barbers, as the cost of the cut was tax deductible. I don't know whether it still is but I don't bother. I have never ever actually shown a receipt to the tax man in all the years I've been an actor which has been since 1970 – although I did an episode of a TV series in 1968.

Running on TV at the moment is a commercial with a man sitting in the chair, having his hair cut and on the top he has very little hair for the barber to deal with– in fact it is a little tuft of hair and is right on the top of his head – it has to be said it looks like a tiny growth of on the end of a coconut.

'A little bit off the top?' the barber asks.'

'Yes' says the man.

Then the barber moves his scissors and the man says 'not that bit.'

The scissors are moved again 'not that bit' and the barber gives the camera a look of what the? And the scene moves on to show the product.

Great idea a bald man advertising a hair product.

That commercial was shot in Pall Mall Barbers Trafalgar Square shop. That is in fact in Whitcomb Street which was the original shop and ostensibly called The Toilet Saloon obviously using the correct usage for the word toilet. In fact the shop doesn't have a loo and the customers are obliged to use the lavatory at the hotel over the street.

Pall Mall Barbers is very close to The Houses of Parliament and it can be assumed that Members of Parliament use the place. I asked once 'Do MPs come here?' and the answer NO, was so loud I assumed I was correct.

Even though it's small, its very impressive and feels like a place where James Bond would get his hair cut.

I did a commercial for Brylcreem many years ago; I played a footballer based on Georgie Best; in fact I was called Georgie in the commercial. The big thing about Brylcreem in the commercial was that it was never used. They sent us to a trendy hairdresser in Knightsbridge who would serve the likes of Chrissie Shrimpton, who was David Bailey's girl friend at one time, and they would tidy our hair up and make sure it was clean and off we went to somewhere in the Surry countryside where we spent two days filming.

This is the only picture I have of the shoot but I was sent many more – they're here somewhere.

I heard yesterday the our film, CONFESSION is a finalist in the Independent Vancouver Film Festival so it's still circulating.

Here's the link: https://vimeo.com/505608541

How to succeed in business,

 I don't know if I mentioned this, but I have two computers here on my desks: one is a PC and the other a lap top. Most of the posts, on this blog, get written on the lap top and if I have to do a load of typing, like writing a whole book in an afternoon, I use the PC which has a separate keyboard and can be put on the little table under the desk which doesn't put too much of a strain on my wrists.

Now I'm not talking about carpel tunnel I'm talking about repetitive strain injury, which is what I had (have) in my right wrist from typing on the lap top keeping the screen at eye level.

I have just put an extension to my USB portal as I have added another keyboard so I can type with a small table under this desk and I have to plug the keyboard in –

hey! I know! I know you can get a keyboard without a cable but not an American one which is the type I like. I can't stand the English – or British one; I mean if I want to do this ; and then : they are on the same key (maybe with the UK one too) but if I want this ' and “ they are also on the same key but on a UK board they are miles apart one is a cap over the figure 2 and the other at the end of the middle letters.

So I was trying out the extension to the USB port, up to now, and it's working.

Now what am I to say?

Don't worry I don't usually have anything prepared.

Ever wondered why the great footballers of the day make terrible managers?

It's because they are great footballers and terrible managers – plain and simple.

It's the same with everything else in life. It's the reason people who are really good at their job should never be promoted. That's the reason they get someone else in to be the boss for a while because they are good at being the boss.

For some reason, when someone is good at their job, they get a promotion which means they have to do a different job and the people (the bosses) who appoint them are taking a giant chance in the hope that the person they give the new job to, can make a good fist of it.

If they are no good at the new job, that's where they stay because they have reached, what is called, their level of incompetence.

Likewise, the top salesman sells millions of pounds/dollars selling motor vehicles. On that premise alone this idiot thinks he can start up on his own and keep all the money for himself.

So they borrow as much money as they need, they mortgage themselves up the hilt and because they have made a lot of money for General Motors the banks think they are a good bet.

That is without taking into consideration that the person in question doesn't know anything about business in fact what they know about business, and twopence, wouldn't get them a cheap haircut.

I have just thought that that comparison might be where they got the expression in international business circles of taking a haircut.

I have just bought a book called The Peter Principle. The reason I bought the book was that I heard someone talking about it the other day on the radio. I only think that it will add up to what I have suggested as I haven't read it yet so I am getting in first with my theory.

If you know or a TV series called Yes Minister you might remember that the Member of Parliament, Jim Hacker, gets promoted to a post in government – The Department of Hogwash as far as I know and he doesn't know anything about Hogwash; he has to rely on the civil servants to instruct him and then he runs the department.

It might be the army, the whole military or the arts.

In fact a year or two ago the Prime Minister here appointed an estate agent to be The Secretary of State for Defence. He didn't have a clue – not a jot.

I think he went to enormous expense to land (or at least manipulate) a helicopter outside number 10, Downing Street.

For people of foreign climes, that's where the Prime Minister lives.

He was relieved of that job because he leaked something – some secret that's all – to a journalist pal.

This fella had military secrets in his head, other sensitive information and so he had to go.

This item on his CV (resumé), which the whole country knew about, betraying a secret, promoted the current Prime Minister to give him the job of Secretary of State for Education.

We have to pity the kids.

He had reached and over reached his level of incompetence and his name is Gavin Williamson; he of the funny voice. He is quoted – and can be seen on YouTube, I expect – of telling Russia to 'shut up and go away.'

Come in Oscar Wilde – all is forgiven.

https://vimeo.com/505608541

Actors: Rogues and Vagabonds.

 

                                                       CLARK GABLE

The last film Clark Gable ever made was The Misfits – it was made in the desert in Nevada not far from Las Vegas on an Indian Reservation – actually Pyramid Lake Paiute Tribe Reservation.

At the time Frank Sinatra was doing a show in Vegas and invited Clark Gable across to a party. Gable asked if the invitation included the crew and was told no; in that case, said Gable, we won't be going unless the crew are invited too. Sinatra relented and they all went to the party to the chagrin of old blue eyes.

Just a bit of snobbishness.

You'll see all classes of people on TV, the theatre and the movies who as actors will be representatives of all classes; working class, middle class and upper class. The one class they (or we) try not to be is middle class; the dreaded bourgeoisie.

But we don't really belong to any of those classes as actors are rogues and vagabonds; always have been. Actors who don't like that description should think again but that's what we are.

When I lived in America I kind of got used to living in a classless society where they are all considered middle class apart from the blue collar workers, the residents of trailer parks and those who lived in their cars. I got to know quite a few people, mostly actors, who lived in their cars.

There were two ways out of middle class: one was to live in your car and the other way was to make a lot of money and become upper class. Of course it's not the same as being upper class in Britain where you are born into it.

As actors we learn to adopt the habits of the classes and we usually learn from other members of the cast as there is bound to be a member of all three.

Being an actor there is a strong possibility that you will work with an upper class person, or a representative of that class. They will tell you how to hold your knife and fork, what to do with your napkin and the like but generally, in the theatre, we are big happy families. You may get into the west end and have to work with divas and divos but, mostly we're friends.

There is another kind of class: when I was at drama school I would go to the BBC in Birmingham and do a bit of extra work – just walk ons and crowd scenes. I noticed that the actors never talked to the extras. If one of the actors talked to one of the extras, other extras would gather around to listen to what the 'special' person said. If it was to mention the score in the test match, Wimbledon or a football match the extras would be very interested even if they knew nothing about the subject.

Later on when I left drama school and played proper roles I noticed that most of the extras didn't talk to me. Whenever I tried to break the ice, other extras would gather around to hear what I had to say.

I thought that was very strange.

Another thing was the actors who didn't have much to say, or had a small role, didn't mix with the players of leading roles. They didn't sit with them in the canteen so, if you were looking at the scene from afar, you would see a table of extras, a table of actors with small roles and a table of stars. When I say stars I mean people who are well known this week.

It is a kind of class distinction isn't it.

When you get into a new play everybody meets in some kind of rehearsal room, maybe the theatre, and the men will gather together to chat with the women over the other side of the room. Then everybody takes a seat, maybe at a table, and if you sit down first and a pretty girl comes and sits next to you I'd say you're in with a chance, no matter what class you are.

Most of the people, in regular jobs, will probably go through the rest of their lives, at work, and never meet an upper class person. They may meet a bank manager or a doctor, who are middle class because of their jobs, but there is a very strong possibility that actors are used to upper class people who, as I have said, give them a few tips.

I remember I did a Shakespeare play for the BBC, many years ago. I only had a couple of lines as I was the only person in the cast whom I had never heard of (ok: what play is that from?) and when I met the director he asked me if I could sword fight. I told him I did and a couple of weeks later I was hired.

At the BBC we sat around a big table and read; Helen Mirren was in it, members of the Royal Shakespeare Company (the RSC) and other well known faces. We sat down to read and amongst the gathering were people with a chair at Oxford or Cambridge and various other experts who would tell you which folio such and such was from and then we all broke up for a coffee break.

One of the experts came to me who had noticed that I had pronounced a word wrong. The word was importunes. I think you have the pronunciation wrong there, we think it's imporTUNES – you said imPORtunes – that may be the other way around but he was the expert - Expert, texpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you (ho ho ho, hee hee hee, hah hah hah) – got to get a bit of John Lennon in there.

During the coffee break the director came over and said he had cast me because I could sword fight and, indeed, I had three weeks rehearsals to stage and learn one, which we would do in Scotland after the rehearsal period.

This did happen and also in the cast was David Prowse who played Darth Vader in the Star Wars movies. He who learned his lines, did the fights etc and then went to see the movies and found he had been dubbed by someone else.

We were in Glamis Castle in Scotland and on the wall one day was a notice, with the cast list on and an invitation to a party. The arsehole of a producer drew a line across the list and stated that only those above the line were invited to the party – so there we are; we weren't posh enough and neither was the world famous David Prowse.

Oh for Clark Gable!!

Nothing to do with the above post but there is a little bit of news on our little film CONFESSION – it has been accepted into two short film festivals:

Venice Shorts; (California) Best film, Best Actor.

Toronto Film Magazine – Best film.

https://vimeo.com/505608541