nick nacks for Dick Heads in the new year.

Something struck me the other day, in this age of social networks, smart phones, texting, tablets, voice recognition, address books in mobile phones and so on; are we losing some of the skills of our forefathers and replacing them with useless ones?

I was watching a programme on TV called QI which is introduced by Stephen Fry who is surely the busiest actor/presenter/pundit/writer etc in Britain. Someone said the other day that he was due to be on TV here in Britain over 100 times over the Christmas period – he is also on lots of radio shows, plays and quiz games and this is not to mention that he is playing Malvolio in Twelfth Night in the west end.

On QI he asked his little panel of comedians what date was the first piece of music added to an advertisement; now you may think that it must have been since the radio was invented but you'd be wrong. It was a magazine add with words and music written out for the public to read and sing for themselves and it was sometime during the 19^th Century many years before Marconi even invented the radio.

Many people could read music in those days; they had pianos in their front rooms to entertain themselves; most pubs in Britain had pianos in the bars and people – the hoy poly (the plebs) – would gather there and sing along with the pianist.

By the way 100 pubs per week are closing in Britain and going out of business – that's the downside to social networking and cheap booze in supermarkets.

Pianos in pubs was quite common right up to about 20 or 30 years ago; in my childhood I would go to people's houses and there would be a piano there too. 

Someone in the house usually played and if it was somebody really good it was always a great experience.

I sat with a pianist at Butlin's Holiday Camp in Pwllheli, Wales, one day who was a Fats Waller fan and he went through his Waller repertoire for me and a few others - my brother included; I also sat with Jools Holland at the piano in Cannes when he played a boogie for a lot of people who had gathered around. On each occasion the one word that went through my head was 'practice' – I should have practised.

I could have sat with the same two people and they could have played me a tape of Fats Waller or lent me their iPod but it wouldn't have been the same.

I'm not saying we should all be playing pianos but I know that with the advent of automation we are forgetting how to do things. People used to write to each other; they still do but they don't write properly putting pen to paper, they use emails, in fact a lot of us never put pen to paper and have literally lost the skill.

I used to be able to remember all of my friends' telephone numbers, all the phone numbers of the TV Companies in London, the casting directors there, my National Insurance Number, my wife's, my Social Security number and my wife's in the USA and now – I don't even know my wife's cell phone number; it's in my address book on my mobile phone. I still remember all the other numbers in London but these days most of the hirers and firers have moved – to Manchester!!!

The only things I have to remember now are the PINs and where the lavatory is!!

And with texting words are being cut – 'n' for 'and' and so on. Words have always been cut; if you look at a postman's badge you will see the name of the city or town where he works such as LDN for London and BM for Birmingham and so on.

It would be terrible if the shortened words and coded phrases made it to the hard copy page – such as lol (laugh out loud) as this would ruin the language. The Americans have already ruined some of the English language with their Webster's Dictionary; I mean what was the point of that? What was the point of changing the word colour to color?

Leaving words the way they were educated us and we could find out where some of the words came from. Colour came from the French word coleur which, I suppose, came from the Latin colōr – so there we are going around in circles.

But we always did go round in circles - we started electronic communcations with morse code - -.-- . ... / .-- . / -.. .. -..

But I think you know what I mean.

One of the series on TV that Stephen Fry is in, is a show called Gadget Man in which he tries various gadgets. I haven't seen it as I am bored by those kinds of shows - and cooking shows, sports programmes etc. - but it shows the lengths people go to, to not do something. If you want to play a guitar like Eric Clapton it is perfectly possible to buy the guitar hero game and stand there pretending to be a rock star – or you can practice like he did and does and play it properly.

I have no idea where Stephen Fry came from; he kind of appeared one day about 20 years or so ago in sketch comedy with a wonderful 'RP' voice which he seems to be able to do whatever he likes with; he has gone on to be an author, compare, quiz show host, actor and general bon viveur but when I see him introduce the quiz show QI with his ridiculous good evening good evening good evening good evening good evening schtick, I can see a look of uncertainty in his eyes whereas I'm sure he would be better off just saying 'good evening' – I know he is supposed to suffer from bipolar disease and I'm not getting at that. In fact I'm not getting at him at all because he manages so many things at once, has so many balls in the air that I wonder how he copes.

He made a lot of money when he wrote the stage show 'Me and My Girl' which was a huge hit on Broadway and many other places and if you follow him on Twitter – which I did for a short while – you won't be able to keep up with him. He goes from here to there and back again all the time. Sometimes in Los Angeles, where he will do a few episodes of a thing called 'Bones' then off to Berlin to a Wagner concert then back here and . . . . I saw him one day in The Farmers' Market, Los Angeles, getting some food from one of the worst food places there; maybe I should have said hello and guided him to the French place.

The next thing is new year – 2013. As with any other year I wonder if I'll get used to that number. I don't usually make any resolutions; I don't smoke, I'm not fat so there is nothing for me to cut out, but I will think about it. Maybe not moan about coffee so much or stop telling my daughters how to boil rice or maybe even look for somewhere to live permanently – the lease runs out on this cottage in November!!

Happy New Year. - Yes that man above is the famous Robert Burns who wrote these words:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp,
And surely I'll be mine!
And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu'd the gowans fine;
But we've wandered mony a weary fit
Sin' auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

We twa hae paidled i' the burn,
Frae morning sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roared
Sin' auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie's a hand o' thine!
And we'll tak a right guid-willie waught

For auld lang syne.

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.