Privilege.

In Britain there is a thing that few other countries have or can understand and, even though most of us think it unfair and unjust, is probably one of the things that stop this place being subject to a revolution, an Arab Spring (Christian?) or even some kind of insurrection – successful or otherwise. That thing is privilege.

Someone I know was working in a play with a well known posh actor; this actor has been going for years and was in Harry Potter – well the first episode as I didn't any more after that. This 'someone' – the person I knew – said 'he just doesn't understand privilege.'

Well what is privilege?

It is a curse to some and a blessing to others but it's something you really have to think about before condemning it and ask yourself the question would you enjoy privilege much like the queen or some duke? – even the duke, The Duke of Edinburgh – Phil the Greek. You see I have put capitals to describe him as if I was talking of God or Jesus when you refer to God as He, even half way through a sentence. It's as if they (the royals) are Godly, as they were considered up to the seventeenth century.

To me it would be a curse if I suddenly won, shall we say, 17 million on the Lottery and used some of that money to make a movie and put myself in it. 

Would people say (would I say and even think) that I wouldn't have made that movie without the lottery win?

They might and you might think that I should care.

I remember the movie The Truman Show (above) with Jim Carrey – he plays a guy called, well, Truman.

He is an ordinary small town American guy and lives a bland kind of life. Very little need for intelligent stimulation, a predictable wife, predictable relationships in fact the life of a very simple soap opera. Something you might see on TV.

Unfortunately that is what it is – he is a creation and from birth has lived in a kind of bubble. There are hidden cameras on every street, everybody he meets are actors with a specific script and scenario to follow.

One of the things the actors have to do in their semi improvisational scenario is to mention the name of a commercial product for whoever was sponsoring the show; something like 'how did you like that Bird's Instant Whip, Truman?' and he normally would like things because he was that type of guy. Nothing controversial or too critical of anything as he was predictable – it's well worth seeing. Obviously something happens to disturb his happy state but if you are really interested I'm sure you'll look for it.

There is his little world (above) - that's all he sees and there is no way out and the show is a huge hit on national TV. From birth he has been trained: how to respond to certain things and how to behave.

Now who does that remind you of?

Lately I got to thinking – especially when I saw the future King Billy saluting the parade of veteran soldiers remembering their fallen comrades – that the royal family here are a kind of Truman Show.

If we had a choice – any of us – would we really want to swap places with any one of them.

'I wouldn't mind their money' I can hear you saying.

What money and what could they possibly do with money? They don't need money; any money in bank accounts they have with Coutts Bank just stays there. 

They may leave it to their relations but I doubt it. We never see or even hear of wills; the so called Queen Mother died with a massive overdraft but what does it matter? 

I called her the 'so called . . ' as that was not her title she was Queen Elizabeth the Queen's Mother and known within royal circles as Queen Elizabeth as opposed to The Queen who is the queen. In fact they are all called 'the' something or other aren't they – The Prince Charles and so on. “Hi there THE – how ya doing?'

If we got rid of the royal family with fair or foul means or even fowl means (but what would we do with the chickens) where would the money go? £1 each to the residents of Britain might just go around . .

. . and if they disappeared overnight – just packed their bags and ran away – where would they get their money from?

Harry and Billy.

But there he was, the future King Billy, standing on a little rostrum, for many an hour, smiling and saluting the comrades as they passed. Our very own Truman Burbank our very own Truman Show.

And me? I'm free; I can still buy my coffee in Soho once a week or so, enjoy my Guinness and my favourite Irish whiskey, Jameson's and walk about without being molested. The only privilege I have is not being molested (well not often) and once in a while I have a look at King Billy as he has to smile at everybody – I know he has another job rescuing people in his helicopter whilst his brother Harry Boy can meet his army buddies, go to Vegas for an orgy – but he's a good egg too.

If we invented such an institution we would be had up for cruelty.

They're not aristocrats, they are the royal family, our captives, our pets to gawk at and make fun of; their family tree can be traced back to the year dot; there are infiltrations of course from Germany and Russia and some would say from outer space and others say they are lizards but the family line goes all the way back to all those wars and beheadings and gunpowder plots.

The aristocracy are those bumbling scary people like they late Duchess of Devonshire, another italic who, to quote a Guardian article about her,'was a friendly sort, who rarely put on side; one of those toffs who are so grand that the fact of their grandeur never occurs to them, and are able, consequently, to go through life without assuming airs and graces simply because the fact of their social position is taken for granted.'

The only ordinary people they ever encounter are the odd taxi driver who they think are marvelous and they always call them little – 'silly little man' 'awful little man' infuriating little man.'

They are fast disappearing but not the royal family.

I hope these don't disappear:

King Billy's wife, Kate! Am I a Royalist?

 Does the wife of a Conservative MP have labour pains?

Am I royalist? Well I wasn't at one time till I thought of the alternative. 

It would mean a president to replace the monarch and who would that be? 

 

President Thatcher followed by President Blair?

 

I don't think so – maybe even President Livingstone and then President Boris Johnson.

You might say that one or two of those might be better than the Queen but they would have their crazy 'hobby horse' little schemes and skirmishes and would promote barmy ideas like an airport in the middle of the Thames.

The thing is, a lot of people from all over the world come to Britain to see the royal palaces and gardens and Shakespeare. They probably cost the tax payer less than tourism brings in as the tourist spends money on everything from hookers to a room at the Ritz and the recipients pay tax - well the Ritz hasn't paid any corporation tax for nineteen years - so maybe the royal family are worth it.

 

That's the way things are here; there has been a monarch here since William the Conqueror apart from the time when England was a republic and look what happened under Oliver Cromwell at that time.

In fact ask any Irishman what they think of Oliver Cromwell if you would like a thick ear!

So a lot of people are moaning about the attention the news channels are giving to the future King Billy's wife, Kate, having a baby this week; maybe even today; well what do they expect?

 

There will be a lot of other people celebrating it. 

 

Me?

 

I don't care one way or the other. I know it's a sucker bet. 

 

The bookies here have the odds @ 1-2 for a girl and about 6-4 for a boy.

 

I think the favourite name is Elizabeth.

When I say it's a sucker bet I mean how could there even be odds? 

 

There is nothing to go on. 

 

But the British bookie is an honest bookie and they make the odds judging by the amount of bets coming in; unlike the American bookie who adds vigorish to the bet so they can guarantee a profit.

I have written about vigorish before, in a previous post, if you want to look back, but my American friends, who live in America, don't believe the bookies don't charge it here.

So what are we to do?

Some people here want to leave the common market (the EU, I think it's called), become a Republic, notwithstanding what happened under Cromwell, abolish taxes and let the pubs open all day! 

 

Oh! That last one has already happened which has resulted in 100 pubs closing every week; I think I wrote about that one before and if anybody is from Pinner (Elton John, for one) and hasn't been there for some time, the little pub by the station has now closed. It is surrounded by scaffolding and a big sheet so we can't see what is going on – or is that just to prevent the dust spreading?

And maybe we should choose a new royal family: we'll choose some family from, shall we say, Yorkshire or Lancashire or even Birmingham. 

 

Lock them up, feed them riches, send them all over the world, where they can shake hands with everybody presented to them, so they can crack a little joke, look a little ordinary before being whisked off by the men in suits with ear pieces and bulging pockets.

Oh what a life it must be showing no emotion, keeping the upper lip stiff, standing on a boat for five hours dying for a piss whilst everybody has a great time, getting drunk and singing songs 'one' has never heard; not being able to disappear to the shed to see to the ferrets or to the pub or even Starbucks where they pay their employees £6 an hour and only give them ten minutes break and actually charge the poor buggers for their coffee and snacks.

So leave the future King Billy's wife, Kate, to have her baby and, if you are quite young you will be reading about her baby for the rest of your life so get over it – let's hope all goes well in the private wing of that hospital – wherever it is.

In days gone by, by the by, when a heir to the throne was to be born, the birth had to be witnessed by the Prime Minister of the day – that's one job the future President Cameron wouldn't have to do!!

The Royal Family

Some members of the Royal Family - pretending to be normal.

This won't make any sense but there was such a big response to the last post about Prince William and his bride Kate and so I thought I would add a few random thoughts and see what happens; I see she is Catherine so is it Cate?
There are a few comments on the blog and I had quite a few e-mails; some against the royal family and some for – one quote described them as a bunch of inbred snoots descended from an oppressive lot of haughty prigs.
Well there is no arguing with where they descended from but I would guess that most of them would choose to be non-royal; can you imagine what it's like?
The thing is they are not snoots; by all accounts they are very nice – except Andrew. The younger one, Edward, defied his father and didn't go to Gordonstoun School like his brothers and he didn't join the military like them; I don't think he can fly Jet fighters or helicopters like his brothers and he married a commoner too and it seems his marriage has worked out; so far.
But by and large the people of Britain love them; mainly the working classes and the upper classes of course. I'm not sure about the middle class – the bourgeoisie – who try to ape the upper classes.
The upper classes have etiquette and good manners. The two things that I like. The middle classes are like Mrs Bucket, on TV, who call their living room their lounge, their lavatory the toilet and hold their knives, when they use a knife and fork, like a pencil.
They try to fit in with the upper classes and if ever they are invited to their homes they blow it by asking where the little boy's room is or folding their napkin or even putting the milk in their tea first; nobody in the world does this except for the British middles class.
If ever the middle class invite a rough member of the working class to their homes they run around after them putting doilies underneath their cups.
The upper classes of Britain have class; it's not acquired but taught. Prince Charles, and his mother, were trained for their role in life from a very early age which is why they can do the job when it falls into their laps.
Charles, and his aunt, Princess Margaret were very talented actors; very funny when in company and who knows what sort of a life they would have led if they hadn't been 'royal.'
In America the President has to achieve his greatness but in Britain the greatness of the royals comes with their birth and it is thrust upon them. As Shakespeare said: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.
The Prime Minister who is the head of the government – not the head of state – is usually dropped into the job before he or show knows anything about it; read Tony Blair's autobiography – he wasn't invited to the wedding, by the way, and neither was Gordon Brown. Thatcher was and so was John Major but Thatcher is too sick to attend.
Before the Queen's mother, Elizabeth, who was a commoner, even though she was posh and upper class, you have to go all the way back to Henry VIII for the last commoner who married a sovereign and, you know, that didn't work out.
Of the 4 Queen's children, 3 of them had broken marriages; if Charles had followed tradition and married a fellow royal, his marriage would still be going and maybe that would have been the case for the other 3; Princess Ann married Captain Mark Phillips – divorced; Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson – divorced and you will know about Charles.
The reason I am interested in the Royal Family is because I am interested in history; the royal family in Britain is the most documented family I know and I find them fascinating.
My interest in the Royal Wedding is very low but the reason I believe there should be a royal family in Britain – as I have said before – is that I would not like the alternative.
The Queen is the most loved person in Britain but when the most hated woman in Britain, Margaret Thatcher, became Prime Minister it was good to know that there was someone she had to answer to.
I think Thatcher hated having to go to the palace and get her papers signed each week and hated the idea; maybe she was a republican.
There are a lot of people – some of them in the government in Britain – who are against the royal family and are actively seeking the overthrow of the monarchy; this is quite legal unless they turn to violence. I don't think that could happen in America!
After the American revolution George Washington was offered the Kingship and turned it down but it wouldn't have worked would it – because he was a commoner and like in Britain or any other country a commoner will never be on the throne; they wouldn't know what to do with it.

Are the Royal Family Lizards?

Did you know the royal family in Great Britain are lizards?
Did you know that the sudden deaths of all those birds being found and all those fish suddenly dying is actually a sign that 'something' is going on?
What about those 'chem trails' we see in the sky all the time? Did you know that some trails left by aircraft are chemical or biological agents deliberately sprayed at high altitudes for a purpose undisclosed to the general public in clandestine programs directed by government officials?
There are people that think all of the above statements are true; I hope you don't.
They think the 9/11 bombings were fixed, that Princess Diana was killed by the Lizards (the royal family); that the Federal Reserve System is designed to transfer wealth from the poor and middle classes of the United States to the international bankers of the New World Order; that Barack Obama wasn't born in America (so is not qualified to be President) and radio talk show host David Emory claimed that the Nazi leader Martin Bormann never died and built a global empire involving, among many others, the Bush family.
And on and on they go – did the Royal Family find out that Princess Diana wasn't a lizard and so did away with her?
Look at this picture of the Royal Family. This is supposed to prove that The Duke of Edinburgh is a lizard because reptiles suffer from uncontrollable flatulence and there he is blowing off???

The picture at the top of the page is part of a portrait of Elizabeth I; on David Icke's web site they report that a mysterious snake has appeared in one of her portraits.

The serpent was depicted being clasped in the Tudor monarch's fingers in the original version of the work - but it was painted over at the last minute and replaced with a more decorative bunch of roses.

Deterioration over time has meant the snake has revealed itself once more, with its outline now visible on the surface.''
So why do people believe in all this stuff? Isn't it some kind of paranoia? Or even schizophrenia?
People who suffer from schizophrenia hear voices – well what voices is David Icke and all the other conspiracy theorists hearing before passing the news on to their acolytes?
I remember a few things about David Icke; I think he was a goalkeeper and was injured and then went on to be a football commentator and general football pundit; then he disappeared.
So believe what you want to believe folks and in the meantime you won't have to bother with the real problems of the world.