Novel Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Woodwork.

One of the periods at school was woodwork. The boys were taught how to use a plane – not one of those that fly, but a tool to make a piece of wood flat. There was a certain technique in the way to hold the plane, and the action used when performing this task

Various joints were taught which was how one piece of wood was attached to another: the mortise and tenon joint, to be basic, was how to make a slot in a piece of wood, with a chisel, then paring down another piece of wood to fit the male into the female.

The woodwork teacher explained this to the class and the boys sniggered.

“That's right boys – time to snigger, but get over it”

He was Mister Spratt: he had quirky sayings and introduced him self at the first lesson with “My name is Spratt – Mister Spratt to you and when you have your laugh about my name remember it has two tees.”

If a boy ever said 'what' he would say 'Watt is standing outside the town hall with his hand out' and then carried on as if the meaning was quite clear. Then he would say “James Watt invented the steam train: he got his idea when watching a kettle boil and thought it could be used as motive power. He was Scottish but came to Birmingham where he had access to the best iron workers in the world. - In the world; that's Birmingham for you.”

Some of the boys went to the town hall and found that there was no statue of James Watt there at all, but there was one in Broad Street, with Matthew Boulton and William Murdoch, outside the Register Office.

When Finbar had a look at the statue he couldn't tell which one of them had his hand out, and wondered if William Murdoch was anything to do with the shoe salesman at the top of his lane.

They told this to Mister Spratt who took no notice, in fact the next time a boy said 'what' he repeated “he's standing outside the town hall with his hand out; James Watt – Watt with two tees.”

Alan Pitt, was sitting at the back of the room, reading a comic, under his bench. “You boy” Spratt said “You!!”

Pitt looked up - “Yes you. What did I just say?”

The boy didn't know.

“Who is standing outside the town hall?”

“What?”

“That's right – and how many tees?”

“How many teas?”

“Yes.”

“I don't know – some of them might have coffee.”

Spratt looked at him with a face a long as Livery Street.

“See me after school when you can write out 'I must listen' one hundred times.”

“Yes sir” said Pitt.

“What's your name?”

“Pitt.”

“What?”

“Pitt, sir” said Pitt, “with two tees.

The boys made wonderful things in the woodwork lessons, mainly little boxes to keep tiny things in. They usually had a little lid which was supposed to sit neatly on top, and a tiny handle, which was so tiny, on most of them, due to the boy sanding it down for too long. “Well you've spoilt that, haven't you?” was Spratt's usual response.

Those little boxes went on the sideboards and shelves of their parents and, invariably, stayed there for years and years and were still there when the boys took their own children to see their grandparents and 'who made this, granny?” was their reaction. Then there was a strange look given to the creator of that tiny masterpiece.

Finbar had a great philosophy, and it always kept him in good stead. His first lesson was on the football field. He knew he wouldn't get any better at the game, and was satisfied to play whilst it was fun, but if he tried to improve himself it would mean hard work with no reward. Not that he wanted reward from everything he did, but he got the feeling that he was more of an ideas man than a doer.

Another example of this was after the little box period, the boys turned to something of their own choosing. These were a little harder to make, maybe a waste paper bin, a little table or anything domestic and useful in the home; Finbar chose a guitar.

“A guitar?” said Spratt “What are you going to do with that?”

“Play it” said Finbar.

“Can you play the guitar?”

“No” said Finbar “but I'll learn.”

“What's the point, if you can't play?”

The teacher, in one of his many woodworklearning tomes, sorted out a design and Finbar set about making the guitar, which he had told scoutmaster Bishop about when he offered Finbar a half-a-crown. Who knows, he thought, that if he had accepted the half-a-crown it might have set him on the road to a successful skiffle group, and he could give Lonnie Donegan a run for his money.

At the next lesson, a lot of plywood was delivered to Finbar's work bench – for it was a bench he had to use in woodwork lessons, and he would fantasise that he was a grown up at work. He knew what guitars were made from and knew that plywood wasn't exactly Mahogany, Ash, Maple, Basswood, Agathis, Alder, Poplar, Walnut, Spruce, or even holly. He pointed this out to Spratt telling him that his grandad in Dublin had a guitar and told him his was made from spruce and his other was made from poplar.

“Hepplewhite used plywood and if it's good enough for him it's good enough for you.” said Spratt.

“Who?”

“Hepplewhite was one the greatest, and most famous, carpenters in history.”

“I thought Jesus was.” said Finbar,

“What?? - what” Spratt shook his head, Finbar nearly said 'he's outside the town hall' but didn't. He started to work with the plywood and knew he had to shape it and then either put a hole on the front or some 'F' holes.

As soon as he started and made the general shape of the guitar, the boys of the class gathered around to watch. Finbar needed a lot of help, particularly with shaping the guitar, which Spratt did for him, and he had a long piece of plywood which he had for wrapping around the side of the guitar shape.

He seemed to be persevering but because the other boys liked what he was doing, decided to change what they were making and started to make guitars. Finbar's guitar never got off the ground but most of the class made guitars some of them were excellent.

Chapter 22

Scouts.