Dystopia.

You'll have to go along with me for this as it only might go somewhere. I will type it, check for spelling and typos then copy and paste onto the site.

For the past twenty or thirty years there has always been a Bruce Willis to come along and put things right. He would confront some Lex Luther figure who would hold the antidote to the virus and take it from him. 

Luther would have been demanding a trillion dollars. $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. 

Yes that's what it is in a British trillion but as there are only one thousand millions in an American billion they would put a trillion at $1,000,000,000,000.

Just twelve zeros and trillions do exist even though in Britain that word is hardly ever used – even though it's almost the national debt. The USA's national debt being about fifteen of that 'F' word which has risen by about Two Trillion (TT) since PINO has been in charge.

My daughter has a friend called Pino which, I believe, is Sicilian and that's a good bet particularly as his father was from there. In this case PINO, as you know, is President in Name Only.

And there is no Bruce Willis here to help us even if he goes up in a rocket to stop the Haemorrhoidal Thyroid of an Asteroid aiming for the earth. 

In other words it doesn't matter that there is only a PINO who thinks he is in a movie arguing and fighting with the staff of his government about what to call the virus.

In other words we are in Desolation Row.

I put that on Facebook yesterday and was very pleased when a friend replied Cinderella is already sweeping up!

It meant that someone is on the same page which I think is what's right and wrong about things - it's great that someone knows it's a Dylan lyric and terrible when you realise that even at this stage there are those who don't know and don't think it's important in any case. And we do need both.

We might say everything is relative or what's best is only according to taste but no matter what your politics are if Mars decided to attack the Earth we would all join forces to fight the red devils – no it might not be PC or even be racist to call the people from Mars red anything.

But I digress.

At the moment we are being attacked by aliens – POUS is still arguing at the top but all the way down to the very bottom people are arguing about whether the virus came from someone eating a baboon in Zimbabwe or a penguin at the north pole.

They will give huge theories they got from a friend at London Zoo and then be shot down by finding out that there are no penguins at the north pole – or dry cleaners in Cambodia (Look Back in Anger III i 50; John Osborne) for that matter.

So if this was a movie the opening scene would be like something above, maybe with some distant echoey music, maybe an old 1930s song, and an old newspaper being blown across the empty London streets.

We would need an existential hero rather like Rick Blaine, from Casablanca, or even Woody Allen actually trying the virus and finding out it gives virility and enhances Manhood in the offspring of all who survive it.

In either case it would be an existential hero as they are needed to save the world even though they say 'I stick my neck out for nobody' – as they don't want to change things even though they know that life is meaningless but they know it might mean something to somebody.

The thing about this crisis in this crazy world (Casablanca again) is the same as the financial crisis in 2008 will be a temporary change to world socialism except the USA – it was only a part socialist policy in 2008 when a lot of money was thrown at the banks - but in Britain at least, it will be fully blown this time.

It has to come now and again and maybe forever one day.

This time all the private hospitals in the UK have offered their services to the NHS at cost, a very large proportion of the work force will be paid by the state – even the self employed eventually – people will not be required to work, a basic payment will be made to everybody, except the self employed (I'm kidding), and the banks will charge and give zero interest then the whole capitalist system will break down.

Out of this a hero will arise - hold it hold it where am I going?

During this PINO will give everyone a cheque for $1,500 and achieve, what he doesn't want but is going the right way to achieve it and that is - Dystopia.

Indian or Native American.

There are lots of things you, or we, don't know about America. We lived there for seventeen years and there are still things I don't know. One of the things I learned on the way back to London, the last time I was there, was on the in flight radio, and this is when I had been back in London for about three years: I found that the American horse racing industry dope their horses as a matter of course. 

In the UK it is treated the same as with human athletes - cheating.

In America they wouldn't dream of letting horses race without medication, i.e. doping. They reckon the poor horses will burst their lungs if they raced without being treated.

Now if I was going to write a song or a poem about this I could rhyme treated with cheated – but I digress!!

I don't know what they have to do when they enter horses in Britain like The Grand National or The Derby – or as Jimmy Cagney sang the English Derby Cup.

Another thing I noticed when I first moved there was they don't use Frisco as slang for San Francisco. They call it 'The Bay Area' – all of it San Francisco, Berkley and other smaller places near there.

One person I knew in the UK described someone as coming from the 'Bay Area of San Francisco' which is really like saying the England part of London – back ways around.

One of the first auditions I did there for a movie was to play some kind of white man missionary in a film about the old west and the fella auditioning with me was an Indian.

I can't remember his tribe or nation but he was quite intellegant, tall and proud but wouldn't accept being called a 'Native American.' 

He said that came from some white professor or some government body. He didn't mind being called a Native but not American and in any case preferred Indian.

I was talking to a Navajo one time, and wrote on here about it, and he too didn't like the term Native American but then the name Navajo was given to his tribe by the Spanish. The Navajo (with the J pronounced as aitch) are called Diné or Naabeehó but they settle for Navajo. 

Their language is almost impossible to learn unless you learn it from birth which is why it was used in the second world war as a code – only the Navajo could speak and understand it – they were the code talkers and there is a feature film about them.

Of course when the speakers and heroes returned to America they went back to their usually alcohol fuelled squalor.

The Indians are an amazing race and have come on a lot since then.

The other thing about America is when people refer to it as 'The States' – I don't mind the US but it's America.

In fact I think it's a bit non-U to call the place the states which I won't bore you with here.

What else bugs me about the two nations separated by a common language?

Oh yes – when I first went there I met a lot of English people who would refer to America as one of the colonies – I kid you not – but I must say it was only within the first few months and mainly in Missouri where I heard it.

There was a time when a friend of mine was doing business with an Englishman. When she introduced me to him, and before he even opened his mouth, I knew he was putting on a public schoolboy act.

He too was referring to the place as one of the colonies and would refer to Sri Lanka as Ceylon. Straight away I spotted a phony – I don't want to confuse my American friends here as public schools in the UK are a unique selection of the private schools such as Eton and Harrow. Winston Churchill went to Harrow and the current incumbent at Number 10, Johnson, went to Eton. These people aren't the aristocracy, in fact most of them are the sons and daughters of rich people and they aren't the upper classes either and never will be. Johnson father was in trade – heaven forbid!

This phony I got to know, used his accent and his way of walking and standing to try and con the friend.

He was going to supply money and backing for a project and disappeared.

Like I'm going to do now.

Toodle Loo.

Today March 9^th would have been my dad's 107^th Birthday; RIP.